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Added by Jopie, at 25 November 2016
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9 Reviews
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05 July 2017
On my way to Pyongyang and The Magnolia House I passed the Sea Of Japan and i'm starting to think that they accidentally called the wrong side the Yellow Sea ,as all the nuclear missiles that have landed in there may have turned it well Yellow.
So I went to the restaurant, but it turned out Kim ate all of the food in NK, except for the dead rats and faeces for some apparent reason. The gun pressed at my temple was a little unsettling. The supreme leader seemed to be the theme, there were a lot of pictures of him, so they must like him a lot. The atmosphere was very quiet, probably because everyone are cardboard cut-outs made for google maps but I could definitely hear the missiles. Anyways I wouldn't eat the dead rat so i'm now in a concentration camp with the rest of North Korea's population.
Also Donald Trump said on Twitter recently, "North Korea has just launched another missile. Does this guy have anything better to do with his life? Hard to believe that South Korea.. "response / report this review -
15 May 2017
Great mosquito burgers and finger chips! The Supreme Leader knows how to get the best out of everyone!
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11 May 2017
I could not find this building, but when I did, it was just a picture of a building painted on the ground. The food was just a picture of food painted on a plate. And the staff were just pictures of staff painted on some dead orphans. The grass was real.
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11 May 2017
I was kinda hungry after haven't eaten for three days when I found this restaurant. It was just a shack with a patch of grass but there were cows on it - so I was sold.
I got inside and ordered myself a nice steak but the old hag just pushed a menu against me and I had no option but to look. There were three dishes. Grass Salad, Grass Gourmet and Steamed Grass. Now Steamed Grass sounded least disgusting so I picked that but boy oh boy was I wrong
The woman grabbed a sharp stone and stuck it in the cows belly, then she started to move it in a saw-way. I was disgusted but hey, meat is meat, so my mouth started to water. However she didn't kill the cow, she just moved her hand in it's body and took out a handful of grass, steaming with stomach acid. I almost puked, but I hadn't eaten so I couldn't puke and she just dumped it on a decaying plate of tree bast fibre and I began to eat the grass - just so that I could puke it own again, and eat it once more.
10/10 would become a cow againresponse / report this review -
22 March 2017
Overlooking Potong river, on a warm evening, with dead orphans floating by, i immediately felt hungry (I had heard so much about the poodle hair salad). We were sat by the window, our friends that were visiting felt like they were on holiday with such a beautiful view of the river. Throughout the course of the meal we started giving the dead orphans western names, Fred was my favorite!
The restaurant had a totalitarian atmosphere, with over 162 pictures of the great leader, even in the bathroom stalls. I ordered the poodle hair salad, a half dozen breaded labrador tails and a side of pickled orphan fingers. I was very disappointed to discover it was tinned orphan fingers with cheap vinegar that looked like it had come from the nearby slave labor camp. My Wife's deep fried chihuahua liver had no great leader sauce and looked like it had been kept under a heat lamp for many hours. What a terrible dining experience!
The staff were really friendly and welcoming and continued to mumble what sounded like "save me". Several times throughout the course of the meal, some were whisked away and we heard gun shots shortly after. At the end of our meal we paid our bill with 2 food ration stamps and they gave us uranium flavored breath mints, which were stale. All and all i would not recommend this restaurant to anyone, except maybe Michael Moore, who will eat anything. - Food rations poorly spent.response / report this review -
06 March 2017
The Magnolia House is the finest American restaurant in all the world. All American restaurants in America are disgusting filth crawling with leeches. But in the heart of the Workers Paradise, Great Leader has taken American cuisine and made it 100 million times better. There's nothing Great Leader can't do, including his must-be-tasted-to-be-believed "New York is an Oxless Hellscape" Strip Steak - which you'd never guess is standard issue military overstock horse lung. Wow! I couldn't tell the difference!
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03 March 2017
For a second I thought it said Mongolian House Restaurant and my wall building instincts kicked in like a horse except Korean but then I read it correctly and my Korean horse kicking skills calmed down and realized that this was just a super pro Korea restaurant and that there was only one Mongolian who was quickly executed
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27 February 2017
kim jon un ate all the damn food
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02 December 2016
Had the VIP room. Best service ever!!! although. apparently they dont serve food here. a Blooming onion means something totally different in korean. Same with my wifes cucumber soup
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