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Added by Jopie, at 24 April 2016
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18 Reviews
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29 March 2018
The world we live in. It's so Wondrous. Mysterious. Even magical. No No no no.. Not that world. I meant this one. The smartphone. Each system and program app is it's own little planet of perfect. Technology. All providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. Look who just sent me a text! Addie McCallister? It must be a mistake. Or a joke. Or a scam! Don't send her your social security number. She's right there! That's our user, Alex. And, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. And, because the pace of life gets, faster and faster Phones down in five. And attention spans get shorter and shorter And You're probably not even listening to me right now. Who has the time to type out actual words? And that's where we come in. The most important invention in the history of communication! Emojis. That's my home! Textopolis. Here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. Christmas tree just has to stand there, all festive. Merry christmas! It's still september, Tim! And princesses I am so pretty. They just gotta wear their crowns and keep their hair comb. We are so pretty. Devil, Poop, Thumbs Up, they just show up and they're good to go. But for the faces, the pressure is on. Cryer always has to cry, even if he just won the lottery. Hurray, i'm a millionaire! Laugher's always laughing, even if he's just broken his arm. Ahh!! Ah! I can see the bone!! Ah ah ah ah ah And me, i'm a meh. So I gotta totally be over it all the time, you know? Like meh, who cares. Which is not as easy as it sounds. I gotta be mehhhhhhhhh I GOTTA! Be! Mehhhhhhhhh. Morning, Mrs. D, I see you have the little minis with ya! Oh, they're so Cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN'T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! It's hard to only act blasé. When, living in Textopolis is. Just so exciting! Hello, good simeans! Those are some sharp attaches! Yes, well we have business to attend to. What kind of business? Monkey business. Ha ha ha ha, I sounded british. Meh Oh, that was really good.. Meh? Meh Meh ha ha What the freak ya doing there, mate? Practicing. Today is my first day on the phone. Oh, droit. I'm gonna be so.. Meh. What are you going to do? Blah! Me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! Woo! Puh-zow! Gooday, mate! Hey, konichiwa! Sorry emoticons!! Oh, I hate knocking over the elderly.. Let me help, let me help Oh, my colon!!! Ducks Hey, is that the time? HEY, my eyes are up here, pal! Woo ooh hoo! Woo hoo! Right on time! And last week, Alex sent me next to THIS text! Huh? Huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing, freak? Ho ho ha ha ha! Now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. Gene, please tell me you weren't laughing just now. Gene so help me I
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21 February 2018
very lovely place, meet the supreme leader!!
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08 February 2018
i mean if i could give them less than one for being commies i would.
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24 December 2017
The only place with good food.
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22 December 2017
Great food after me and my kids ate our shoes then we went to go sleep in the shack after that we continued on our journey only for our kids to get shot by the one and only great leader. i hailed him but my kids didnt so he shot them. had a wonderful time!!!!!!!
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22 October 2017
China is allies with South Korea.
Our dear leader should know about this.
This building should be destroyed at all costs.response / report this review -
08 October 2017
This place sucks. Too many Mexicans. Found a great Italian place 3 blocks from here.
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01 October 2017
So apparently the Panda Express serves panda here. Honestly how was I supposed to know. Bad business. Never again
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30 August 2017
THIS IS THE WORST CHINESE RESTAURANT EVER! ALL THEY SERVE IS AMERICAN PEOPLES MEAT WITH AMERICAN CHEESE.I got an allergic reaction from this. But the lady at the front desk was sexy af.
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24 August 2017
The (more or less)great leader told me to rate 5 🌟
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20 May 2017
Great embassy, but the "Chinese" were actually just black with their faces painted yellow.
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19 May 2017
This is the WORST Chinese restaurant ever! And I've been to ones that literally served me dog-food!
First it took me FOREVER to get past the armed Maitre d' at the entrance (turns out you simply bribe him, just like a regular Maitre d').
Then once I got inside and decided to order some food from the counter the girl behind the counter just looked at me like I was some kind of idiot. She then asked me what country I was from. As if that should influence whether I get served food or not. After I told her I was a German tourist she got really angry and accused me of being a spy or something. She then called in a bunch of other Maitre d's and they dragged me of the premise.
Also everyone there was really overdressed for a Chinese restaurant.
I'll give it two stars since the girl behind the counter was really cute.response / report this review -
16 April 2017
nice architecture, too many ching chongs that no speaka inglish, would not reccomend
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12 April 2017
No delivery offered. Deal breaker.
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26 January 2017
They no serve chikun fry roi :(
9/11 would be disappointed again.response / report this review -
11 October 2016
chicken-fry-Ry plea. Sy order of crab ran-goo with sweet sour sauce. Plea no dog this tyme, just chicken. No pepper either make me sneeze. I eat fortune cookie after dinner. Egg drop soup taste like egg me no like. Me like soup with less egg drop plea. hard to eat soup with chop stick. make mess in my crotch. Waiter fat like Kim. Smelled like old shoe like Kim too. I think it Kim but he not want to tell.
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10 September 2016
Bathrooms have great acoustics. Food sucks.
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01 May 2016
Ordered a steak sandwich with a latte (2 sugars) , sandwhich was manageable the barista Kim Jung burnt my latte though was very sympathetic and made me another one . Above and beyond for customer service
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