I came here in 2015 to see my favorite Hall & Oates tribute band and twelve months later I was made into a sex slave for ISIS. But don't worry. I disguised myself as a camel and tricked them into letting me play on their city's soccer team. I'm the goalie! The pay sucks but the perks** are good.
**I don't get beheaded because they think I'm a soccer-playing camel.
لا اعلم